14 November 2006

"Sometimes all you can do... is bow your head and pray!" (another great card brought to you by Leanin' Tree)
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You know, sometimes I think it's easy to forget just what a 'fight' the "good fight of faith" can be. And here lately, I have felt the heavy, persistent blows to the beliefs of my inner core. Having seen "Cinderella" quite a bit in the last year or so, I can't help but relate to her getting knocked down one too many times and finally just running out to the courtyard saying "I can't believe anymore. I just can't. There's nothing left to believe in." So many times, it just feels like you try and you try and you try... and you do good, until you just get knocked down one too many times or just simply tire out. It's then that you just lose all your resolve. And it seems the harder you try, the harder the fall when all the chips come crashing down.

Today, I was made aware of all of this even more than ever, as I just had to take it all to the literal level. Already getting off to a bad day, not feeling well - emotionally, physically, mentally... I pressed on, continuing through the routine. And even though the cat threw up on my bedroom carpet... again... I didn't let it get to me and just continued on... I was actually doing good on time (for once) and left the apartment feeling a little better. I had it all together. Had some nice new clothes on (finally). Doing good on time. Had my trash all sacked up, ready to go. Water in hand. I got to the end of the sidewalk, right by my car and I just took a header to the pavement. And having fallen off of the risen sidewalk, I didn't just stumble... I CRASHED. Water and ice everywhere. New pants (first time wearing them) not just scratched up a bit... but rather RIPPED clear across the knee. My knee, now asphalt-imbedded, gushing blood. Lovely. And clearly the straw that broke the camel's back this morning. But yet, very determined by this point, I pressed on.
Now LATE for work, I rushed to clean my lovely new abrasion, searched out a pair of OLD pants that might match the top I'd already picked out for the day, quickly ironed those and got myself together a fresh cup of water. I no sooner got all settled into the car and turned on the cd player to hear Jeremy Camp singing "Understand"... and I just had to smile. (As much as I love his music, I never realized how many songs he has about falling down!!) :) Gotta love it.
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"Understand" by Jeremy Camp

Every time I fall down on my face
I see the One Who bore all my shame
To know that you are everything I need You to be
You're my ever present help in time of need

I know You understand it all
So, why don't I get back on my feet again

Every pain I feel inside my heart
It takes a faith I know I can't depart
To know that You hear every cry I raise to You
Bringing thoughts of hope the words I bring I know are few

I know You understand it all
So, why don't I get back on my feet again

You hear me when I call
You're there when I fall
You hear me when I call

I know You understand it all
So, why don't I get back on my feet again

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Tim McGraw had a good song a while back that comes to mind as well... "We Carry On":

When our lives come undone...
We carry on
Cause there's promise in the morning sun
We carry on
As the dark surrenders to the dawn
We were born to overcome
We carry on


I guess that’s all we can do – so we might as well carry on in good faith – with the hopes that tomorrow will be better!!!

*Don't even ask what all it entailed to get this blog entry published!!! Let's just say, in trying to do so... this day has come full circle. And now, I've had enough... I'm going to bed!*

2 comments:

Mom said...

Love the music you've added and the card is absolutely adorable. I'm sorry you had such a rotten day, but I'm so glad you haven't lost your faith (even when it's tested to the max) or your sense of humor in it all. Sorry, too, that you lost your new pants. Consider yourself wrapped in a mom hug.

jodi said...

Man, what a crappy day! You should have called me and we could have laughed (or cried) together!!! Love ya!