He gives and takes away...

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As many of you know by now (and are probably sick of hearing about), on August 1st, I was selected as MercyMe's first ever, blogger of the month. And, as many of you know by now (and are probably sick of hearing about), I was THRILLED! I never win anything!! (That's what everyone says, I know, but in this case... it's true...) : ) But, I was just so tickled and honored by that. And was just beside myself that they would send me an autographed c.d. as a way of thanking me for sending so many folks to their blog.

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And I have anxiously awaited it every day since then.

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Then, finally I get a call this morning. Evidently, the mailer containing my treasured c.d. got stuck in someone else's mailbox, in an entirely different neighborhood... and whoever checked this other mailbox discovered my mailer, addressed to me - empty.

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I just thought: "Alright, God... You testing me?"

I was SO crushed! I mean, here's the sweetest gesture from some of my favorite bloggers AND singers and I was robbed of it.

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...for the most part...

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But, then, there was an overwhelming thought that kept interfering with my selfish, carnal thinking...

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"Just wait a minute. What if this could be used in some way to honor God?" (well, actually, it was probably more like: "What if this could be used in some way to honor ME?" - coming from God - 'cause I mean, let's be honest... I was just thinking: "I hope this guy goes down! I hope he gets a flat tire in his get-away car or something!")

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But, the thought of the possibility of goodness coming from it kept pushing those thoughts aside. And, you know, before long, I could feel myself almost getting excited about the many possibilities.

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I mean, certainly, he/she could've just ended up pitching it in the trash. Or selling it and getting some money for it. Who knows.

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But, what if... God used it to speak to someone. Either the person who heisted it or the one whose hands it ends up in?

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What if... their lives are changed by the very words of those wonderful songs? Songs like "I Know" ~ speaking into their hearts:

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I know, I know that God is able I know,

I know that He still reigns I know,

I know that love has found a way.

No matter what it is you're going through

Even if you think you're far beyond where hope can see

I know there is a hand that's reaching out for you

Because He did the same for me

It wasn't that long ago when my own world fell apart,

It fell apart and everything here inside of me said to let go,

You must let go

I found myself crying out to the One who knows my heart,

He knows your heart and holding tight to the few things that I know

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I mean... Imagine! If God could speak those words into the heart of someone who needed them today! WOW! And, I know He can!

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I just feel like He wants to use this in some way. In which case, I am even more honored and excited to have been selected by Him.

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I feel as though He had His hand in this. And He wanted me to know that. For one thing, what are the chances that whoever took it would take it out of the envelope and not just take the whole package? And then, what are the odds that the person who found it would actually take the time to call?

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Then, after just thinking, over and over: 'Well, He gives and takes away'... I walked into the shop this morning and the first song that came on the radio... "Blessed be Your Name"!

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It was like He was right there saying: "I know. I know you were excited to get that c.d. I know that it meant a lot to you. I know how disappointed you are to hear that you won't get it now. BUT, I also know who took it. I know why they took it. And I know their heart. I know you don't see the bigger picture, but I know you know that I do. And I know that despite your disappointment, you're willing to trust my bigger picture... and actually find a little joy in the possibility. And, in that alone, I am honored."

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And for that alone, it was worth it.

Whether they choose to receive the blessing or not.

I have.