13 September 2007

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Going into our fourth week of the study on Daniel now, Beth Moore lovingly reminds me that which I already know. She sends us to Luke 9 wherein we are told that "if you want to be My follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross daily and follow Me. If you try to keep your own life for yourself, you will lose it. BUT, if you give up your life for Me, you will find true life." (Luke 9:23-24)

And, how I know those words are true! I've learned that lesson so many times in the past! And anytime I've let go and let God, it has always proven true!

And yet... Here I am, holding on tighter than ever.

More every day.

Why?

Nothing more than fear, disbelief, and the fact that I am as stubborn as anyone has a right.

Thankfully though, I know He has not given up on me (even through my doubts and distance from Him) and He is bound and determined to get my heart back. I only wish I could surrender my life as I know I should. But, for some reason, I insist on going about it the hard way... kicking and screaming.

As hard as I have tried, I cannot seem to relinquish the hold I've got on my life and my heart. Knowing full well, that I can trust Him and that He is much more qualified in life-management than I am! And wants to help me!!

If I would only let go.

But, it's so much easier said than done. And it is something I have struggled with for quite some time now. And I just cannot seem to will myself to do it, so...

If you all could please just help me pray that I will finally be able to once again turn my life back over to Him and find the "true life" that He has waiting for me.

I would truly appreciate it.


Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. (James 5:13-16)

2 comments:

Jay & Michelle said...

From one control freak to another, let it go, Life is SO MUCH SWEETER! God's plan is SO MUCH BETTER than mine ever was! I'll pray that you find the peace to let go, I've walked in those shoes, first for specific things/events then I finally decided that God was doing a much better job than I was and I just gave it all to him!!!! Many prayers are going up for you. I love you, please call me if want to talk.

Jess said...

I know... I just need to get to 'that place' again. It's especially frustrating KNOWING how much better everything would and could be if I could just release it all to Him! I'm tired of wandering around in the desert! I'm SO not a desert kind of girl! :)
But, I thank you for your support.
Love you,
Jess