21 August 2007

ILLUSIONS (and disillusions...)

Do you ever feel like you just can't see the forest for all the trees?

Like sometimes life just gets in the way?? And you can't seem to make any sense of it all... or find the way to where you want to be?

In the last several months, I have felt so disconnected spiritually. And it is extremely frustrating. To have such a close walk for awhile just to drift back to where you started, for me at least, has just left me disheartened on one hand, yet scrambling on the other.

I find myself (in true 'flesh form') wanting to just recreate it all. Or, 'if I could just find the right book, or hear the right song, or...' a million other possiblities - I could just get it back again. Obviously, that hasn't worked.

When, I think, all God really expects of me is to just keep my eyes on Him. Forget the rest. He'll uncover what I need for me as I need it.

I should know this. This isn't my first lesson in this. We've been through this all before. I'm so thankful that He's patient and not easily angered. I'm not exactly a quick study! :)

You know, going through some old "treasures" (mom has another name for them) in the basement a few months back, I came across a Magic Eye calendar I had in college. I don't know if you've ever seen or heard of Magic Eye, but it's a form of optical illusion where there's a 3-D picture inside of a design. It's not always easy. It takes some patience and concentration. And it really helps to almost look past all the confusion of the design at hand. And once you do, your focus is more able to pick up the true image and it's as real as ever!

(Here are a couple of examples...)



And I got to thinking... it's the same way with our relationship with God. You know He's right there somewhere, but when you spend so much time and energy focusing on what's right in front of you (or around you) you tend to lose your focus on Him. Which, if you're like me, leads to great frustration and confusion.

I heard someone say not too long ago (and I hate that I've forgotten who it was) - Are you looking at God through your circumstances? Or looking at circumstances through your God? I LOVE that!

Like I say, it's not always easy. It takes a lot of patience and concentration and effort on our parts, but how exciting when He shows up - real as ever!!!

(ps... if you are unable to uncover the 3-D pictures, click on the link below each one and it should direct you to the website I found these on... where it will show you what's hidden in the design!) :)


Mom said...

Thanks for this post, Jess. As I feel my new reality from Women of Faith fading a bit with everyday life, I've been trying very hard to recapture it. Maybe I just need to know that it was there - very clearly - when I needed it and was ready to receive it. It is now a part of me, no matter how strongly I "feel" it.

Jess said...

Accepting it as real and letting it change you is just the first step though! Don't just wait 'till next conference to feel Him there with you again... keep looking in the everyday 'stuff' - like I say, it's not always easy, but the more you focus on Him, the more He will appear. And everyday life is when we need that the most!
(I've still got a stack of books here just waiting to be read!!) :)

Lyndy said...

Great post and I can so relate. This is right where I was a few months ago. It is so hard not to focus on our circumstances but so true that we need to keep our focus on God.

Thanks for sharing.