Letters to a Few Members of my Community:
My dear hard-working leaf-blowing Amigo:
I understand that you're just doing your job. And I can appreciate that, even when you crank up that loud little leaf-blower by 9:00 am on my Mondays off (granted, my butt should already be up by then anyway!) But, I just have to ask: Really... today? We've got, for the second day now, 50-60 mile an hour winds out there. Mother Nature is practically blowing YOU away! Don't you think she could perhaps manage a few leaves and grass clippings?? And let us both take a break from the dreaded leaf-blower?
My lovely penny-pinching bank teller:
You are so friendly when asking what you can do for me. And yet so loyal and defensive when I say I could just use some coins for dollars. I'm talking a few rolls of each; the likes of what most people would find in their piggy banks at home, or even some in their seat cushions! You hear this and immediately grill me: "Is this for a business?" (No, I just really like to shop with spare change... I find it makes the retailers' days to do so.) "Do they have an account with us??" (Yes, but I mean, c'mon lady... is this really a federal offense to change out money at a B A N K ???) I answer all your questions (same ones every week) and so you finish up and finally ask sweetly: "Will there be anything else for you today?" (Ummmm... No thanks.)
(Although, next time, I may say "Actually, yes, I think I would like to close my account here and transfer it to the lovely home-town bank where they are HAPPY to help us in our desperation for change... though neither the business nor myself have an account with them!")
My fellow church-going mother of two:
I'm glad to see you all come to service. I really am. I just wish I knew why you are habitually late (I mean 30 min's or more) leave out early and still need to leave half-way through the service... every Sunday. I can't help but wonder what you actually take home with you from the visits, considering the time you do actually stay in there, you spend rumaging through your purse or disciplining your two disgruntled children who should be enjoying the other pre-teens down in their own service? Perhaps you are there for no other reason than to refine me and my tolerance of others... and if that should be the case, I guess we shall be seeing a lot of each other... as I've got a ways to go!!!
(Did I mention that they ALL pile in late... they ALL leave out half-way... they ALL leave early... and they ALL insist on sitting at the FRONT of the church... every Sunday???)