Several weeks ago, when my friend Anita told me that the girls were having another bible study over the summer, I said "Count me in!" as I hadn't gotten into the last one and had wished I had. I've missed it terribly. The fellowship and the lessons. So, she was kind enough to pick me up a study guide and when I looked at it, I thought "Well, this a study for pretty much anyone BUT me, but alright..." It is 'The Frazzled Female' by Cindi Wood.
Now, honestly, I think most anyone who knows me would find it comical that I'm in a bible study on being 'frazzled' as I'm generally anything but... and it takes a LOT to frazzle me - in our common interpretation of the word, that is. But, much to my surprise, after the first week of going through the study, it really started hitting on some issues that I've been dealing with lately. And so I looked up the actual definition:
fraz'zled- 1. exhausted and in a very confused or irritable state 2. frayed and in a generally worn, tangled, or otherwise unsatisfactory state
Well, there ya go! That's me! I think most people just think of frazzled as being completely stressed out, but according to the handy thesaurus, it can also simply mean:
exhausted, weary, tired out, drained or fatigued
And THAT my friends is exactly the unsatisfactory state that I have been in lately... at least spiritually.
After having had such an awesome close walk with God in the last couple of years, I now feel that I have just 'dropped out of the race'. Like I didn't pace myself, the way a true runner does. And now, here lately, I just find myself in a little spiritual 'heap' by the side of the road, still encouraged by the others I can see on their spiritual journeys, but just waiting for Him to scoop me up and carry me the rest of the way!
But, what does He keep telling me now? "Draw near to Me (once again) and I will (then) draw near to you (once again)." In other words, "You take the first step." I've been waiting on Him, while He's been waiting on me.
"Take up your cross daily."
UGH! ...DAILY!! Thankfully though, once you get back in the race and build up that momentum, you can feel Him there with you once again, cheering you on, just like before, excited to embrace you at the end. And that's enough to get me back on track.