BitterSweet

'Tis the Season...

2009-12-05T22:00:00.003-05:00

*Please don’t take this post the wrong way and know that the true meaning of Christmas is certainly not lost on me and that it indeed means the world to me and I am not the least bit ashamed to say that. That said… *

I feel sorry for the word ‘holiday’. I’m sure you know where I’m going with this. It’s become such a heated subject. ‘Christmas’ -vs- ‘Holiday’. ‘Christmas’ -vs- ‘Holiday’. I remember when the two were synonymous and joyfully went hand in hand and yet now, it seems, one is good and the other evil. I just feel like ‘holiday’ got caught in the crossfire. So, I can’t help but feel bad for it.

Now, I understand how folks (aka- corporations/ gov’t offices…) in today’s culture use it as a watered down, generalized, politically correct, don’t-wanna-step-on-any-toes replacement for the real deal ‘Christmas’. And, yes, that’s right up there on my list, along with no prayer in school and doing away with ‘In God We Trust’ on the currency (slowly, but oh so surely). And maybe if the alternate was a more secular word, I’d be more ruffled, but ‘holiday’ couldn’t have a more innocent intent. Aside from the British referring to their vacation time, its meaning is simply: ”A religious feast day; a holy day”. *Gasp!* Is that not what Christmas is?

Now, when it comes to those situations where officials try to dictate that you cannot say “Merry Christmas” (as a store clerk, for example), you certainly should take a stand, if that’s what you choose to say. But, I guess on the flip side, I resent being dictated to say “Merry Christmas” in order to prove to others that I am, indeed a Christian. Not that I wouldn’t say “Merry Christmas” otherwise. But, it’s become such a political stand now that it almost feels like I’m more trying to prove something than just sweetly wish folks (what should be) a blessed Holy Christmas season. And I resent the fact that now, should I get a Christmas card from someone that sweetly says “Happy Holidays” on the front, that my immediate reaction is that of judgment and bitterness. Instead of simple joy and appreciation.

Oh, how satan must love this time of year.

I guess I just hate all the lines being drawn in the sand. But, I guess it’s just the times we live in. And if I have to choose which side of the line I’m on, I will side on the politically incorrect side of “Merry Christmas”. But, not without feeling a little bit sad for the word ‘holiday’. That’s all.

2009-11-23T18:59:00.003-05:00

You know, there are great advantages to living so close to Atlanta, Ga.

One is that it’s the home of Chick-Fil-A and Waffle House. ~ Top that.
Another is that Hartsfield airport is one of the major hubs of air travel.
Third, we’re close to the Atlanta gift mart. (Major plus when you’re in retail.)
And lastly, we have the opportunity to go to regular worship with the likes of Louie Giglio and Chris Tomlin. ….Awesome!

Two weeks ago, I mentioned having gone to Passion City Church for the first time. It’s Louie Giglio, from Northpoint Community Church, heading up a new church for the greater Atlanta area. And the last time we checked it out, it was a message on grace being the power of Christ in us. Very powerful.

Well, I was excited to get to attend again this week for a continued message on grace: “Grace: The One and Only”.

Louie said, that in response to his previous messages on grace, he’s usually confronted with four common concerns:

It all sounds too easy.
Isn’t grace just permission to keep sinning?
Shouldn’t I be doing something??
I tried. It didn’t work.

Last night was his effort to address these concerns.

First concern: “It all sounds too easy.”

Louie refers us to Philippians 2:5-8. “Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”

It may sound all too easy. But, it certainly wasn’t easy when he was crushed, broken and pierced, paying the price, all alone, for our transgressions.
And as for our part… it may be easier said than done. When’s the last time you tried to humble yourself to complete obedience and die to self?

Moving right along….

Second concern: “Isn’t grace just permission to keep sinning?”

You know, sometimes I just love how the human mind works. Always looking for loopholes. Dressed up in the appearance of justification. And I love how God calls us out on it. In this instance, through Paul, in his letter to the Romans.
Paul responds to those who may have had a somewhat distorted view of God’s grace, arguing that since grace would be more abundant where sin was greater, they should just go on sinning in order to experience more grace. …. You know, just to help God out and give Him all the more glory. (I love it.)

In Chapter 6 (verse 2), Paul says “May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?!” Louie says that the Greek equivalent to “May it never be” or “By no means” or the likes is our “ **** no!” (So, needless to say, Paul was rather emphatic on this point.)

Paul reiterates in 15-18: “What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? May it never be! (Yikes! Here it is again!) Do you not know that when you present yourselves to someone as slaves for obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin resulting in death, or of obedience resulting in righteousness? But thanks be to God that though you were slaves of sin, you became obedient from the heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed, and having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness.”

We are all enslaved to something. Either to Him or to our sinful earthly nature.

To this point, Louie reminds us that true grace develops a desire to be more like Christ. The key is freedom. If the desire is not there to become more holy (set apart for God), you have not yet experienced true grace. It’s not until you feel the weight of the sins that He bore for you, that you have entered the grace that He is offering you. True grace propels you toward obedience. True grace births a hunger for His holiness.

Third concern: “Shouldn’t I be doing something??”

To address this concern, Louie directs us to 1 Corinthians 15:9-10: “For I am the least of all the apostles. In fact, I’m not even worthy to be called an apostle after the way I persecuted God’s church. But whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on me—and not without results. For I have worked harder than any of the other apostles; yet it was not I but God who was working through me by his grace.”

This goes back to the whole Christ working through me message.

Louie states that “Grace fuels furious work” but quickly reminds us that it is “with a whole new motive.”
We begin to act purposefully in grace not SO THAT we (fill in the blank) but rather BECAUSE we (fill in the blank). For example, we live out our lives in a manner of grace BECAUSE we are children of God, not SO THAT we will be a child a God. And so on and so forth…

His grace is already extended. We don’t have to earn it. We never could, even if we tried. Which brings us to the last concern.

Fourth concern: “I tried. It didn’t work.”

This one kind of hits back on the previous message, too, of Christ at work through me. And the whole idea of rededication. But, this time Louie points us back to Philippians 2:1-4: “If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any tenderness and mercies, make my joy complete, being likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord and of one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vain glory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem the other better than himself. Look not every man to his own things, but every man also to the things of others.”

In other words, Louie says “Don’t work FOR your salvation… work it OUT.” This begins with a humble spirit… with grace and with others.

“For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” (Phil. 2:13)

God works in us, to will and do (aka: the want-to and the know-how) accordingly. But, sometimes, Louie realizes, we even need a want-to to want to. And sometimes we don’t even want THAT want-to. But, he says “That’s alright. Even without a want-to, God’s grace is still there for us. Grace is about the next step, no matter where you are on the journey.”

God is extending His grace to you.
It’s up to you to believe it and receive it and see what it will do in your life.

All a Matter of Perspective

2009-11-22T14:19:00.004-05:00

“Listen to this, you pleasure-loving kingdom, living at ease and feeling secure. You say, ‘I am the only one, and there is no other. I will never be a widow or lose my children…” (Isaiah 27:8)

Today, I am disheartened. Frustrated. And quite honestly, embarrassed.
To live in a nation such as ours and see such a skewed perspective on the whole.

We can mourn the passing of iconic (unnamed) entertainers for months, and even the future retirements of other iconic (unnamed) celebrities… and yet not give the downtrodden a second thought.
And we indulge in the richest foods known to man… while there are countless brothers and sisters in the world who’d be thrilled just to have clean water to drink.

The other evening, I had the great opportunity to hear Shaun Groves. And I’m so glad I got to go. Not only a gifted musician and singer, such a great example of a man after God’s own heart. Performing his music (for free) all over the country, he now not only shares his musical talent, but also his heart for Compassion International.

In raising awareness for Compassion, he told the story of how he got to meet one of his sponsored families. I encourage you to read it stra ight from him.

But, the part that made the greatest impression on me and hit me straight in the gut, on behalf of our entire privileged nation was this:
He described visiting one home in particular, that would fit in most of our garages here. With one little bench to sit on, that the father had made and discarded trash as a roof over their heads. At night, the ladies got to sleep inside, their fellas out in the street. And with eyes aglow, the girl proudly asked “Do you like my home?”

Later, he described being led through town, past complete squalor and desitution when he noticed big tears in the girl’s eyes. And when he asked what was wrong, she said “Oh, nothing! I just love God SO much!”

It was then that Shaun had to ask himself. Who are the truly poor here? Us, living under the shelter of false security of wealth and privilege? Or them, trusting in the shelter of the Most High for their every need for mere survival?

Jesus said that when we do for the least of these, we do unto Him. How about this year for Christmas, we focus on the One whose birth it is all about and do unto the least of these, in His name.

It’s so easy, in our culture, to turn and look the other way. We’re blessed to have that choice. But, others don’t and they need our help.
Let’s not go down as just another self-indulgent Babylonian empire saying “I am self-sufficient and not accountable to anyone!” (Isaiah 47:10)

“No end in sight that I can see,
Today is blocked by the mirror in front of me.

A wreck, a death, tsunami tide,
It mildly stirs me, I must confide.
TV claims tens of thousands gone.
Oh well, let’s see what else is on.

Numb to the stunning sight
Of each new dawn,
Sinking fast in Babylon.” (Beth Moore)

Blue Like Jazz

2009-11-16T12:19:00.003-05:00

Okay, so I’ve heard about this book for several years now, always hearing how awesome it is and after having bought it months ago, I finally set my mind to getting it read. And I’m SO glad I did.

I think every non-believer should read this book, as well as anyone who leads in the Christian community.

Donald Miller is not what most would consider your run-of-the-mill conventional Christian writer. He steps outside of the box. And brings you with him. And in doing so, he humbles himself, steps on your toes and brings you off your judgment seat as well – leaving it open for the only One worthy to hold such a place.

Miller is quick not to defend the term Christianity, as by now the term as lost all absolute definition. By this point, Miller says “Stop ten people on the street and ask them what they think of when they hear the word Christianity, and they will give you ten different answers.” He continues ”I would rather talk about Jesus and how I came to believe that Jesus exists and that he likes me.”

And it really can be just that simple. And should be.

Nobody knows for sure what Jesus wrote in the sand in John 8, but I’m pretty sure he wasn’t drawing a line in it.

And just so you know it’s also recommended for its entertainment qualities, I’ll just share the beginning of Chapter 11. I hope that in doing so I don’t ruin it for anyone who’s not already read the book and plans to, but considering the fact that this page makes me laugh out loud every time I read it, I think you’ll still enjoy it, too when you get to it.

“When I was in Sunday School as a kid, my teacher put a big poster on the wall that was shaped in a circle like a target. She had us write names of people we knew who weren’t Christians on little pieces of paper, and she pinned the names to the outer circle of the target. She said our goal, by the end of the year, was to move those names from the outer ring of the circle, which represented their distance from knowing Jesus, to the inner ring, which represented them having come into a relationship with Jesus. I thought the strategy was beautiful because it gave us a goal, a visual.

I didn’t know any people who weren’t Christians, but I was a child with a fertile imagination so I made up some names; Thad Thatcher was one and William Wonka was another. My teacher didn’t believe me which I took as an insult, but nonetheless, the class was excited the very next week when both Thad and William had become Christians in a dramatic conversion experience that included the dismantling of a large satanic cult and underground drug ring. There was also levitation involved.

Even though they didn’t exist, Thad and William were the only people to become Christians all year. Nobody else I knew became a Christian for a very long time, mostly because I didn’t tell anybody about Jesus except when I was drunk at a party, and that was only because so many of my reservations were down, and even then nobody understood me because I was either crying or slurring my words.”

Go get this book. You won’t be sorry.

Our Claimed Treasure

2009-11-12T22:44:00.002-05:00

Great

Aunt Leona

Oh, wow. Where do you start, with such a remarkable lady?

You were given 96 years and lived life to the fullest, but I think we half-way expected you to live about 96 more.

You played a mean game of Rummy and taught me about ‘groovers’. You insisted on ‘cutting the stack’ and took no prisoners. But, we still had a good time playing.

You loved to tell stories, larger than life. Each time with that same hearty laugh like you’d never told it before.We heard the same ones time and again. But, they never got old and we’d laugh just the same.

You were golf’s biggest fan. You both watched it and played it. You didn’t pick up the game until you were 32, but you played ’til the end. (I wonder now, how the Pro’s will ever play without you.)

You’d send us our birthday cards, with money inside. Quarters for every year we would celebrate. It wasn’t a million, but it seemed like it to us.

You ran your own business for most of your life. A ‘beauty operator’ who knew all in town. You swore you’d write a memoir one day, of all that you heard from your chair, but I guess you never did. (Probably just as well.)

You never did marry. Proudly proclaimed yourself as an ‘unclaimed treasure’. But, you never gave up hope on me. You’d pray every day to St. Anthony (aka: ‘Tony’- Patron Saint of Lost and Found) on my behalf to find ‘the one’ for me.

Oh, Leona, you’re lotto tickets and Omaha steaks and 5 o’clock drinks and so much more… you’ll continue to be with us in so many ways.

But, why couldn’t it have just been about 96 more?

~
( http://mywebtimes.com/archives/ottawa/display.php?id=385323 )

* Grrr.... Player still not working.

Wanted to use "When Irish Eyes are Smiling" on this one. *

Christ in You

2009-11-11T22:53:00.004-05:00

“Grace is not simply leniency when we have sinned. Grace is the enabling gift of God not to sin. Grace is power, not just pardon.” ~ John Piper

The other night, I had the opportunity to check out Louie Giglio’s Passion City Church. Needless to say, it was awesome. I mean, anything that starts off with Chris Tomlin and Christy Nockels leading worship and ends with a church-wide prayer to send a sweet empassioned girl off to West Africa to return to the mission field after having just lost her mother suddenly… yeah. Awesome. In the truest sense of the word.

But, Louie was continuing a series on Grace ~ or as he puts it: “the power of God living in me”. He started us off in Colossians 3:5-10:

“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”

Yikes. Talk about a tall order. Basically, just do everything that is against your earthly nature, and you’ll be fine. Yeah… okay. Sure. But, what happens after your feet hit the floor in the morning??

Louie pointed out that a lot of us get caught in the mindset of: “Christ died for me! The least I can do is not lust or slander or be angry or greedy, lie or use filthy language.” Next thing you know, you’ve broken about 3 or 4 of these and you haven’t even left the house yet!

That’s when we start rededicating, as Louie says. And then rededicating our rededication. And rededicating the rededication of our rededication. And so on and so forth. (Sound familiar? Maybe it’s just me….) Saying “I promise… this time… (will be different).” Only to have the same results and ending up back at square one… defeated and often self-condemned. All the while being very well-intended, but… well, I think we all know where the road of good intentions leads.

As Louie reminded us, it is impossible to live all of this out in the flesh… in our own strength, that is. We must let Christ live it out through us. He is not only our Savior or ‘payment’ but our “life” (Col. 3:4).

“God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Col. 1:27).

Paul continues, “To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me” (Col. 1:29).

It’s normal to struggle. Even with all of His energy. We’re still merely humans. But, if we allow Him to live in us, He will be able to do powerful works through us!

I can’t! But, He can!!

Step forward in faith. And see what He wants to do through you.

* The illustration of the storage bins tied in, too. But, I could never begin to illustrate that the way Louie did. So, I guess you had to be there. But, when he gets the series online, I’ll post it for you. *

(Oh. And, you must know that it is driving me crazy that I can't get my playlist to cooperate. But, if I were able to connect a song with this post, it would be "Everything" by Tim Hughes. Who knows... maybe I'll get it to work before too long.) :)

Grip of Fear

2009-10-26T21:10:00.003-04:00

Last week, in our Esther study, Beth Moore spoke to something that just really spoke volumes to me.

She said that a friend of hers had requested prayer for her mother, who’d had breast cancer and thankfully come through it and now lives cancer-free. However, now she finds herself overcome with fear with the least littlest thing.

She followed that up in saying that she has heard this same testimony, over and over, from so many people who say “The thing about it is, while going through it, I felt the strength and power. But, after I came out of it, I got a stronghold of fear about ever going back into it.”

WOW. Now, I don’t know if this speaks to any of you, but it really wouldn’t surprise me if it didn’t, because I’m all but convinced that it was spoken just for me.

But, Beth then responded to this thought saying “God’s grace is given according to our NEED ~ not what we have made up out of our FEAR.
“We want God to give us strength for our vain imaginations, but He says ‘You’re making that up! I’m not going to give you strength in that! I want to set you FREE from fear! Not help you think up stuff!’ “

Ouch!! Talk about hitting home! This is where I’ve staked a tent and camped out for WAY too long now. ”Somewhere in the middle.” Knowing all that He’s done, and yet not fully trusting in all He’ll do.

Lord, please help me to loosen my grip on all the fears that hold me back from living the life You’d have me to live. Help me not to dwell on all the disappointments and hurts, but rather hold onto all that You’ve done in my life and all the times You’ve proven more than trustworthy, in those times when I’ve turned to You.

Mirage

2009-10-19T00:30:00.006-04:00

(The following is an excerpt from Max Lucado’s “Come Thirsty”)

“Don’t make the mistake that the associates of Lawrence of Arabia made. He took them to Paris after World War I. They had never seen such sights. The Arc de Triomphe, Napoleon’s tomb, the Champs Élysées. But nothing impressed these men from the Arabian Desert more than the faucet in the bathtub of their hotel room. They turned it on and off, on and off, amazed that with a twist of the wrist they could have all the water they wanted.

When the time came to leave Paris and return to the east, Lawrence found them in the bathroom with wrenches, trying to disconnect the spout. ‘We need faucets,’ they explained. ‘If we have them, we will have all the water we want.’

They didn’t understand the role of the faucet. Spouts carry water, not produce it. Spigots are the tool, not the source. The valve might direct fluid, but generate it? No. We know this…

Or do we? Through what faucets has God poured his love into your life? A faithful church? A prayerful spouse? Time-tested traditions? A girlfriend in college or a grandma from childhood? God’s water passes through many faucets. His gift comes in many packages. The treasure, however, is not the plumbing or the box, not the container of the gift. No, the treasure is the Giver Himself.

… God describes Himself as ‘the fountain of living water’ (Jer. 2:13). Thank Him for the faucets, but don’t trust them to nourish you.”

“If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me [not to my prophets or people] and drink” (John 7:37).

Why is it that even as a self-professed follower of Christ, I find myself so quickly (and repeatedly) running to all my other ‘resources’ before finally tapping into THEE Resource? The One Who promises “a perpetual spring within (me)” (John 4:14)? Why, so often, is He my last resort? When all other sources run dry? When He’s done nothing other than prove Himself faithful and true to His Word every time I do come to Him thirsty?

Lord, ‘Let thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to Thee’!

Meaning in the Monotonous

2009-10-07T23:27:00.006-04:00

“Writing in a diary is a really strange experience for someone like me. Not only because I’ve never written anything before, but also because it seems to me that later on neither I nor anyone else will be interested in the musings of a thirteen-year-old schoolgirl.” ( Anne Frank ~ June 20, 1942 )

The alarm goes off. I bury my face deeper into the pillow, wishing I hadn’t stayed up so late again… promising myself ‘I won’t do that tonight’… again. But then as the sun, slowly and steadily, begins to spill into the room, I become aware of the birds beckoning outside my window. I hear a praise song pouring out of the radio next to me. And I begin to feel it. Hope. Promise. A new day. With new beginnings. Like the breath of fresh air this time of year. Change. Difference. A new direction. A new tomorrow where ANYthing is possible!

I read my devotional. Spend some time in prayer, thanking Him for a new day. Another chance at redemption and renewal. And I voice the concerns that have been laid upon my heart.

By this time, doused with the Holy Spirit and completely inundated with worship music, I am ready to face the day. Totally geared up to see what He has in store for me to do!

Next thing I know (and I’m not quite sure why this still surprises me, on some level?) I’m back behind the counter at the Gift Shop where I’ve worked for the past 14 years. Asking myself “Wait… Wasn’t I supposed to do something big and wonderful for You today, Lord? How can I be back here? This certainly can’t be what You had in mind for me to do for Your glory? It’s too simple. Too mundane. Too…. ordinary??”

Then the Lord challenges me “Do you mean to say, that this ’simple, mundane, ordinary’ life of yours is beneath Me? Too insignificant for Me to work in? Au contraire mon Chéri.” (Oh, yeah. My God can speak ALL the languages. And He even knows which ones I’ve retained.) :-}
“I AM the One Who made man from dust… Dust! Took ‘ordinary’ water and turned it into wine! An ‘ordinary’ Jewish girl into the Queen of Persia! And you don’t think I can use your so-called ‘ordinary’ life?”

“A~hem. Yes, Sir. Well… when You put it that way… I suppose YOU might be able to do something with it.
Lord, in that case, please just help me to be obedient to what You’d have me do. Right here. Right now. This day. And every day.”

“Now you’re talking. Let’s just see what we can accomplish together…”

Anne Frank kept a journal.
Mother Theresa wiped the mouths and held the hands of the ‘forgotten’, downtrodden and infirm.
Imagine what God can do with your ‘ordinary’ life to make it extraordinary, if only you place it in His hands!
~

“If you can’t do great things, do small things in a great way. Don’t wait for great opportunities. Seize common, everyday ones and make them great.” ~ Napoleon Hill

F A I T H

2009-10-05T19:39:00.003-04:00

Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.

Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. See synonyms at belief, trust.

Loyalty to a person or thing; allegiance: keeping faith with one’s supporters.

The theological virtue defined as secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God’s will.

The body of dogma of a religion: the Muslim faith.

A set of principles or beliefs.

Being a student of human nature and trying to figure out what makes people ‘tick’, I’m always curious as to how one has come to believe what he or she believes. What has led them to this place. The ground they’ve chosen to stand firmly upon. Or perhaps, in some cases, not so firmly.

I’ve been reading a book explaining some fundamental differences in some of the more major religions and to be honest, my brain has just shut down. I can’t comprehend any more of it right now. Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam… my brain is just swimming with all the jargon, the stances, the foundations and their leaders.

Some of them quite different from Christianity, some not as different. But, at least they believe something. What I can’t understand or comprehend is the person who avidly believes … nothing. And with such passion and conviction. This doesn’t make sense to me. How can one be SO empassioned over… nothing?

A while back, in a search for the story Paul Harvey would tell on the radio every year at Christmastime, I googled something along the lines of “Paul Harvey Christmas Story” and it returned several suggestions. One of which being a man who had formed ‘ex-Christian.net’ and put the most horrendous spin on the story you will ever hear.

Last time I saw the page, I just quickly, yet sadly, flipped back on to the other sources, hoping to forget all that he said. But today, I forced myself to linger longer. To try to dig deeper. And, to be quite honest, my heart is just absolutely broken. My soul is heavy and my eyes brimmed with tears, not only for this gentleman and others with the same view, but for the Father Who sees and knows all of our hearts. And in them, all our doubts, anger, fear and unbelief.

And I think that’s what so many miss? The heart knowledge. They spend so much time trying to logically figure out all the head knowledge, they don’t open themselves up to the glory of not having to know it all and have it all figured out. The wonder of experiencing what we call FAITH. For it’s only when you open yourself up to something bigger than yourself, that you even begin to understand why one believes such ‘illogical’ ‘lofty’ views. And I, for one, am proud to be a fool for Jesus.

2009-09-28T14:11:00.005-04:00

There seems to be a resurgence in the blogosphere here lately, so I just thought I’d take the time today to introduce and perhaps, reintroduce my Blog Roll.

‘Alter-Ego’ ~ Just that. My other blog. The original one I started back in May ‘06. The one with the deeply thought-out, agonized over coordinating soundtrack. Pretty much the one solid reason I won’t leave Blogger for WordPress.

‘Arms Wide Open’ ~ SUCH a great blog! And the guy who makes me proud to be a SLOB. Last summer, the guys of MercyMe had a SLOB of the month (Spectacular League of Bloggers). Proudly, I was the first to receive the accolade and Aaron was the subsequent SLOB honored right after me. Great guy with a beautiful family… truly a man after God’s own heart with a steady stream of amazing posts.

‘Beth Moore’ ~ Goes without saying. The Living Proof Ministries blog. Getting to know Beth outside of her mind-blowing studies.

‘Blessed Builder’ ~ Sweet Kathy, my new facebook friend! :-} Shares with us her life in beautiful Wisconsin and insights into her heart and mind.

‘Bring the Rain’ ~ The now well-known and highly-acclaimed blog of Angie Smith, wife of Todd Smith of the group Selah. Started blogging primarily as a result of losing her sweet little baby Audrey. Now, more on the casual side, but the original posts utterly gut-wrenching and soul-inspiring.

‘Confessions of a Pioneer Woman’ ~ One word. HILARIOUS. That woman is multi-talented if there ever was one. Not only does she take amazing pictures of her unbelievable life on the ranch (with husband and 4 kids!) and cook like a top-notch chef at the finest restaurant, that girl can WRITE! There is just simply nobody else like Ree Drummond. She’s awesome.

‘Covington Outdoors’ ~ Amanda Lindsay, a sweet face from Eastridge, my church home. She, too shares glimpses into her life and her heart.

‘Dash of Grace’ ~ This is my friend Danielle, from Tuesday night bible study. She shares her heart in what it’s like to be a new Mommy to what may be one of the cutest little boys ever!?

‘Farmers Almanac’ ~ Wow. I’ve been following this one for a while now. I met Shana thru blogging… well, I don’t even remember how now? But, I’m glad I did. She’s a great blogger (though she, much like me, has somewhat traded blogging for fb these days – we’ll have to work on that…) ~ a sweet girl.

‘Fruit Inspection’ ~ My seestor. :-} Her in’s and out’s of being Mommy to what ARE the two most adorable children! And just, more or less, life how she sees it.

‘Glasses of Grace’ ~ Dianne was, if I remember correctly, my very first commentor on my blog who wasn’t family or an established friend. :-} She hasn’t updated in a while, but she’ll always mean a lot to me.

‘Grant Busbee’ ~ The newest addition from the Eastridge bloggers. Just read his first post today. Great start. Can’t wait to see what else he shares in future posts.

‘Heal the Wound’ ~ This is Heather, wife of Aaron (Arms Wide Open) and she’s just as an amazing writer as her husband. Great thought-provoking posts and insight into her heart as a Mommy, wife and Christian.

‘Heart on the Hill’ ~ D. I think we found each others’ blogs through Luanne? She’s one I haven’t gotten to know as well as I’d like. Look forward to more from her.

‘Henderson Highlights’ ~ My long-time friend, Michelle. Glimpses into her life, now greatly revolving around a littly guy named Eli. :-}

‘Highway 41′ ~ Florida Gator fan, but I guess we’ll forgive him. :-} Shawn found my blog in looking for someone else and since has begun this blog of his own. Great thought-provoking posts… I like to think I taught him everything he knows.

‘Jennifer Hilland’ ~ Another representative of Eastridge. She’s just written a few posts, but I hope she will continue. She’s a very talented, heartful writer.
~
‘Jeremy’ ~ My funny brother-in-law. What can I say… he’s a man of few words.

‘Keeping up with the Hills’ ~ My newest bloggy friend, Jill. She’s so sweet and so is her blog.

‘Less of Me’ ~ I love, love, love this girl. Never met her, but would love to. Not quite sure how we stumbled onto each others’ blogs, but am so glad we did. Great blog and even greater friend.

‘Light Your World’ ~ Greg Sponberg, husband of Nichol Sponberg. I believe started the blog when they lost their little Luke due to ‘crib death’ shortly after Angie and Todd Smith lost their Audrey. They’re actually in-laws and both amazing families, strong in their walks with the Lord.

‘Marty K’ ~ A blog referred by a fellow Eastridge member. Incredible photography and great commentaries.

‘MercyMe’ ~ I think they’ve all but hung up the blog for tweeting and facebooking, but love these guys. They’re just awesome, talent-wise and spirit-wise.

‘Mom of ‘Em’ ~ I actually went to high school with Jodi, back in Illinois. This is probably the one blog I found through facebook? It’s usually the other way around. :-} Sweet and funny.

‘New Normal’ ~ Trey, our newest elected Executive Pastor at ECC. Great thought-provoking posts. Glad he finally broke down and started an official blog. I look forward to future posts.

‘No Matter What Happens’ ~ Kelli. There is nobody I can think of to compare to Kelli. Loving mother to 4 beautiful children, 3 of which have special needs. She never complains. She’s never bitter. Only sweet, loving, nurturing and grateful for each and every day. Truly inspiring and perspective-altering.

‘No Place Like Home’ ~ Michele, actually attends my sister’s church, but I got to know her through the girls’ ballet classes and now even more-so on facebook. Sweet insights into her life as a Mom, devoted wife of a fireman, preschool teacher and Christian.

‘Notes from the Soul’ ~ Stephanie had actually been following my sister’s blog, but I didn’t find her until Beth Moore’s roll call shortly after that. She’s got great posts and spiritual insights.

‘One So Blessed’ ~ Joanne, out in California. Great reminder of how God works all things for good for those who love Him. Sweet gal with a beautiful family.

‘Patsy Clairmont’ ~ The firecracker of the Women of Faith. Hilarious, but heart-touching, too.

‘Pioneer Woman Cooks’ ~ Ree Drummond’s strictly cooking website. Amazing dishes with precise and often hilarious step-by-step instructions.

‘Random Thoughts from the Revolution’ ~ Actually discovered Chris through Kelli’s blog, even though he’s a major component at Eastridge. This is his newest blog with thoughts of both personal interests and thoughts on where our church is headed and what we’re learning as we go.

‘Scott’ ~ Pastor Scott, from Eastridge, and any of his encouragements and thoughts to us as we journey together, as a body in Christ.

‘Stirring the Deep’ ~ Another one I’d actually like to get to know better. She’s been very encouraging to me and has had some very convicting posts lately and I need to just take the time to sit down and scroll through all her previous posts.

‘The Muse’ ~ Keith, another new blogger to pop up from Eastridge. Off to a VERY strong start! He’s focused primarily on our daily readings that we’re reading as a whole at ECC.

‘This Journey is not my Own’ ~ Jennifer… Wait… Jennifer, are you there? :-}

‘Thursday’s Child’ ~ So funny how God works. This one was actually referred to me by Joanne over at One So Blessed. And I LOVE it. It’s one that I won’t let myself even start to read it until I’m in the right frame of mind, because I just know that it’ll be amazing and that I won’t want to miss one word. LOVE Chanda! I’m waiting to hear of the book deal any day now… :-}

‘Unveiling Hope’ ~ Each post, short but poignant. Wonderful blog.

‘Work in Progress’ ~ The blog Jodi and I started for Mom, because we knew she had an inner blogger in there somewhere, with all the stories and fabrications (and of course, two grandchildren to brag about). :-}

‘World of ‘Chelle’ ~ I think met ‘Chelle through Joanne, too? Sweet, funny and inspiring. In a nutshell. Another one we need to work on getting back at blogging. :-}

Wow. Didn’t realize how much my blog roll has grown!! But, I love it! It inspires me! And I hope to keep adding more and more!
So, please, go visit all my fellow SLOBs and see what they have to say! And tell ‘em Bittersweet sent ya! :-}

*The blog roll on here no longer really corresponds. For correspondig blog roll, go to: www.bittersweetjess.wordpress.com .

2009-09-21T11:48:00.005-04:00

Hold On Loosely

Our church is kicking off a new campaign this week called “Life’s Healing Choices” based on the successful ‘Celebrate Recovery’ program that developed out at Saddleback. The first step, as introduced to us yesterday is humbling yourself and admitting that you have a need.

So, in the spirit of the step study, here I go….

Hi. My name is Jessica. And I struggle with having an over-appreciation for others in my life.

Sounds kinda lame, huh. Yeah, it does to me, too. I mean, when you put it out there along with all of those who struggle with alcoholism and drug abuse, child molestation and loss of loved ones… sounds pretty insignificant. But, you’d be surprised at what can become a stronghold in your life. Or rather an idol, as is in my life.

Kelly Minter states in her study ‘No Other Gods’: “If I lose my faith in Him, I will invariably return to the gods I have left behind.” (In my case, those gods oftentimes being people in my life.)

As I go back now and read over this verse, I realize it’s even more applicable to me when reversed and read: “When I invariably return to the gods in my life, I tend to lose my faith in Him.”

I have been SO blessed with SO many amazing people in my life! … Friends. Family. Co-workers. Church family. Bloggers. You name it. … All amazing. But, all fall short of the glory of God. He’s the only True Sustainer. The One True God.

Kelly also shed new light on Isaiah 46:1-2 ~

1 Bel and Nebo, the gods of Babylon,

bow as they are lowered to the ground.

They are being hauled away on ox carts.

The poor beasts stagger under the weight.

2 Both the idols and their owners are bowed down.

The gods cannot protect the people,

and the people cannot protect the gods.

They go off into captivity together.

WOW! I love that! Did you catch that?! “Both the idols and their owners are bowed down!” … and “They go off into captivity together!” How true!!!

And, just like the Israelites melted their gold earrings down to make a golden calf … the same gold earrings that the Lord had blessed them with… I, too, have a great tendancy to turn God’s gifts into gods. (Ex. 12:35-36)

“Some of our false gods can be made of things that are in and of themselves perfectly good; they only become a problem when they take the place of God.” (K. Minter)

And before long, I’m trying to ‘mold’ them into what I need them to be and we are both burdened down and headed for captivity.

So, in the spirit of ‘laying it down’ and casting these strongholds aside, I will be praying the words of A.W. Tozer:

“Father, I want to know Thee, but my cowardly heart fears to give up its toys. I cannot part with them without inward bleeding, and I do not try to hide from Thee the terror of the parting. I come trembling, but I do come. Please root from my heart all those things which I have cherished so long and which have become a very part of my living self, so that Thou mayest enter and dwell there without a rival. Then shalt Thou make the place of Thy feet glorious. Then shall my heart have no need of the sun to shine in it, for Thyself wilt be the light of it, and there shall be no night there. In Jesus’ name… Amen.”

Nobody Notices...

2009-09-17T23:06:00.003-04:00

“Nobody notices what I do until I don’t do it.”

Haven’t we all experienced this at one time or another?

It seems as long as we’re going along, doing a good job (at whatever) nobody has much to say about it. But, sure as we slip up, it seems the whole world notices and has something to say about it! (…or so it may feel…)

And I just got to thinking… this must be how God often feels. When things are going along smoothly and everything is ‘as it should be’ (or so we think), He’s lucky to get a little nod every now and again. But, sure as something bad happens, He’s often the first One to get a finger pointed to.

I suppose it’s only human nature, to some degree, to expect the good and take note of the bad, but I just wonder… as Christians, why is it so easy to believe that God has every capability beyond our comprehension to keep some things from happening ~ enough to blame Him for any bad that’s taken place ~ and yet sometimes struggle so fiercely to believe in Him, trust in Him, and even acknowledge Him for the good?

Or is this just me?

( ...Wait... Don't answer that... )

This is my Story... (continued)

2009-09-14T00:17:00.013-04:00

Follow-up to the first part: http://bittersweetjess.wordpress.com/2009/08/03/this-is-story-this-is-my-song-the-beginning/

Fast forward to 1990.

“What I always feared has happened. What I dreaded has come to be. I have no peace, no quietness.” (Job 3:25)

Okay, so I know there are worse things in life, but to be uprooted as a Junior in high school from a small rural farm town in the Midwest to a thriving metropolis in the Deep South… it seemed at the time I’d be hard pressed to find a fate any worse than just that.

What’s interesting is that I can remember thinking, back before we ever even knew we’d be moving, how lucky I was that my dad had a good, secure job and that we’d never have to worry about something like moving… let alone to the ‘other side of the world’. I had always felt bad for any ‘new kids’ and I just knew that I would never be able to make it through such an experience. Funny what you worry about at 15, especially considering the amount of security I seemed to feel with Dad’s job.

Next thing I know, I’m being sat down and told that just in a matter of weeks, we’d be packing up and leaving our home for Georgia. (….What? Georgia?!) I’d be finishing up my last 2 years of high school with all new people, a million miles away from home, friends, family… the very thing I had sworn I’d never be able to do.

It probably helped that it was such short notice. I don’t really even remember much from the weeks leading up to the move. They were filled with sorting, packing, pitching, house-hunting and somewhere in there, Jodi’s graduation. All very quick and surreal.
Of course, that’s not to say I didn’t have my share of tears and skidmarks all the way down to Atlanta. There were.

However, I was blessed enough to have a best friend from home who helped me through the transition (even bringing an element of excitement to it all) and was there for me. I also acquired a new best friend here, who’d been placed in the same boat as me and shared many of the same thoughts and feelings as I had. Jodi had stayed in Illinois to attend college, so these two relationships meant the world to me.

As it turned out, as overwhelmed and disenfranchised as I may have felt at the time, I had several loyal friends from home who’d written me every week (boy, if only there’d been email and facebook back then!) and a number of new acquaintances here who helped with the transition. And though it may have felt as though I’d been seriously derailed… in my 20/20 hindsight, I see now that it was in keeping me on the right track all along…

I’m studying the book of Esther right now and one of the most intriguing and encouraging elements to the book is the fact that it does not mention the name of God, not once, throughout the entire 10 chapters. However, it is increasingly evident, upon further study, that His fingerprints are all over it. Looking back on these chapters of my life, I’d say the same could be said about my story. He may not have been realized or acknowledged along the way… but I know now that His handprint is most assuredly stamped on every last minute of it…

"Always Looking Up"?

2009-08-24T13:58:00.002-04:00

Everyone loves a good optimist, right? I mean, who wants to hang around with a nay-sayer all the time? Even folks like me, who often tend to have a half-empty glass can appreciate the ones who look into even the most dire of situations with a sunny outlook. I envy them; I want what they have… or do I?

Case in point… Michael J. Fox, highly acclaimed actor of my generation. Who can’t admire this guy for his overcoming spirit and now renowned optimistic attitude? To suffer from Parkinson’s Disease has got to be one of the most physically exhausting and emotionally taxing diseases there is. Yet, Fox just seems to grow all the more determined to fight for his cause, all the while cracking jokes (at his own expense) and crediting his rosy outlook as his source of power and strength.

In perusing through “Today’s Christian Woman” magazine a couple of weeks ago, I was surprised to see them showcase an article about Fox’s newest book “Always Looking Up” in their “The One {everyone is talking about}” feature. Although I haven’t read the book (and perhaps should, to gain a fuller perspective), I did catch the first part of the special they aired on television about 2 months ago. And, although his determination is not to go unappreciated, I honestly turned it off 5 minutes into it.

Though few would argue that he’s deserving of every commendation for his warrior spirit in the midst of such hardship, should we really exhalt him for his rose-colored view on his world?

Although the article quotes Fox as saying it’s been ”an emotional, psychological, intellectual and spiritual outlook that has… saved (him) throughout (his) life with Parkinson’s” and notes that his ” ‘critical supports’ of his life – work, politics, faith and family (have) sustained him throughout the physical and emotional ravages of his disease”… it leaves you wondering exactly where this said “faith” lies?

The article states that “when describing his personal code of ethics, he lists biblically based principles such as ‘Do unto others as you’d have them do to you’ and ‘judge not lest you be judged’ “. However, “sadly, his encounters with Christians who failed to live out those principles – treating him harshly for his support of stem-cell research, emphasizing God’s wrath rather than His love for sinners – have pushed him from Christianity rather than drawn him in.”

And though that is a debate that’s very crucial in our times, that’s not the part that has stuck with me. It’s the next part that keeps getting tossed around my mind and hanging from my heartstrings, wishing I had the words to penetrate through all the ‘gooshy feel-good stuff’ that our culture has become so contented with. And get to the true heart of the matter.

In his book, Fox is quoted as saying “We talk about fear of God as a good thing… but that just makes no sense to me. As a way of motivating people, cultivating fear is easier than investing the time and effort necesary to engender respect. Respect requires greater knowledge, and in my experience, the more you know, the less you fear.”

Wow. How do you contend with that? I understand where he’s coming from… so, how do you, as a Christian, convey the Lord that you not only fear, but have also come to know, love and cherish and hold in high esteem, to those who just hear the words and have never gotten to know the heart?

How do you help them to not only “look up” figuratively, but to “look up” to the true Sustainer and Lifter of our heads?

WOW.

2009-08-23T21:46:00.005-04:00

*I would strongly encourage you to actually read this book and take the time to do the study… and if you do, don’t read this post! This is more for my regurgitation and sharing what I’ve taken away from it. But, if you don’t plan on participating in the study… *

Really. That’s all I can say… is Wow.

I just finished (finally, after having done the study off and on for the past year now) Kelly Minter’s Study “No Other Gods” . And though a lot of the blame may indeed fall on me for not finishing it a long time ago, it seems it was more befitting for such a time as this, too. Such impeccable timing! (Why does that always surprise me?)

So, in lieu of Sermon’s Notes today, I thought I’d hit on some of my (many) underlined thoughts of Kelly’s.

In laying the foundation for our study with the idea of falling before “functional gods” Kelly clarifies that “a professed god is who or what we say our god is; a functional god is who or what actually operates as our god.”
She goes on to quote J. Calvin saying “the evil in our desire typically does not lie in what we want, but that we want it too much.”

Now for some popcorn points on this chapter:

Persistance overcomes resistance.
Having freedom from our idols begins by recognizing our own powerlessness against them.
Apart from the power of Christ, we are unable to extricate ourselves from their (the idols’) hold. If we can accept the truth of our own weakness, while accepting the gift of His strength, He will do it.
Being skilled and wise are worthy and desirable goals. They become a problem when we use these things to create false gods that we end up serving.
You must ask yourself: ”Am I doing this for God’s glory, or for my own glory, pride, comfort, happiness, or other selfish motive?”
If it all looks easy and doable, it doesn’t require faith.

Now, the next part, I think I actually mentioned months back when I covered it the first time. It was such a great reminder and illustration for me.
Minter brings us to the story of the Israelites who had been blessed with attaining all these gold earrings and such from the Egyptians, by the Lord’s good favor on them. Then, she goes on to point out that next thing you know, they’re melting down those very blessings and shaping a golden calf to turn to. In essence, “the Israelites turned God’s gifts into gods”.
Ouch. I SO relate!

She continues “some of our false gods can be made of things that are in and of themselves perfectly good; they only become a problem when they take the place of God.”

Popcorn points:

Fear protects our idols.
Whatever we fear is our god. Fear itself is not the god; the object of our fear is the god.

Session three goes into truth and discernment and satan’s lies… the whole concept of conviction.

Popcorn points:

True conviction doesn’t look for loopholes and isn’t sad. (ie: Can’t give something up just to say “Aww, I’m so bummed, I can’t watch that anymore…” or the likes.
If true conviction is present, we will begin to look at that thing as something that was taking the place of God, something that was stealing from us.
As we rid it from our lives we will be hopeful with anticipation, anxious to see what God will do in this newly-created space. We will not look for loopholes.

Next, she goes into defining idolatry for us. “What is idolatry? It’s taking a good thing and making it an ultimate thing.” (T. Keller)

The next session is the powerful reminder of the Israelites once again, who had spent so much time longing for the ‘good ol’ days’… (what?!?) They remember the times when they had ‘ “free” fish, cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, garlic… all they wanted’ – “free”, that is, in return for their slavery! Of course, they overlooked that in their less than 20/20 hindsight. Isn’t our rearview mirror always a bit rose-tinted? Hmmm… I know mine is.

She quotes Tozer, saying “We are often hindered from giving up our treasures to the Lord out of fear for their safety… But, we need have no such fears. Our Lord came not to destroy, but to save! Everything is safe which we commit to Him and nothing is really safe which is not so commited.”

A good reminder for me, as I’ve tired from desperately working in my own strength is this: “Our soul does not delight in God over a Scripture-memory verse or church attendance or doing a Bible study alone. It delights in Him when we come, listen, turn from our idols and call out to Him.”

Popcorn Points:

We cannot have ultimate allegiance to both God and the world.
Any idol in our lives becomes our master.
He simply will not allow our allegiance to be elsewhere.
Sometimes, I wish I could get away with something. But, He won’t have it, because He’s too great, too holy, too righteous, and has too much to offer to let us serve anything less than Him.
At the end of the day, it’s between I AM and everything else.
When we see Him for who He is, the strength of our idols lose their pull.

Here, she blew my socks off, in sending me to Isaiah 46:1-2, which I had never read in quite this way before. But, after having looked at my modern idols and how they so quickly ‘fail’ me…
“The gods cannot protect the people and the people cannot protect their gods. They go off in captivity together.” (WOW!)

Popcorn Points:

Our outside behavior stems from our hearts.
God deals with our idols when He deals with our hearts.
God shows up in our reality. He shows up in our weakness. He is looking for… the one who concedes need for Him.
Embrace your weakness. View it in a new light. See your weakness and struggles as opportunities to reveal God’s power and grace in your life!
Surrender is about the will; trust is about the heart.
God wants my trust, since trust speaks deeply of relationship. It is a rare moment we trust someone on a heart level with whom we’re not in relationship.
If I lose my faith in Him, I will invariably return to the gods I have left behind.

She ends by discussing the laying down of our idols. Never an easy task.
It takes faith to say good-bye; it takes faith to say hello.

"Every follower of Christ will have to walk through the desert at times in life – it is the bridge between the old and the new. But, the idea is to go through the desert, not to attach there… and that takes faith."

She leaves us with the story of Ruth, who chose to leave her Moabite home to go with her mother-in-law Naomi. She had to leave all she knew and loved (including many idols), saying good-bye to all the familiarity in turn to embrace Naomi’s people and God.
“God calls us to move away from (our functional gods) – sometimes it’s a physical move, but more often, it’s a heart move. One that can be every bit as gut wrenching, but one that promises the presence and satisfaction of God.”

“There is no meeting God halfway. I thank Him that He has not met me halfway, because we never would have met. I couldn’t have made it that far.” (I LOVE that!)

Don't Know Much

2009-08-12T22:10:00.003-04:00

Don't Know Much

Sound the 'cheese' alarm, right? Aaron Neville and Linda Rondstadt pairing up for a sappy '80s duet. But, tonight in the car, as it came up on my iPod (yes, I have it on my iTunes- one of several of the "Best of the Duets" of the '80s) it held such a different meaning for me. It was like an affirmation from this morning and a sweet simple reminder.

This morning, as I drove in to work, I was thinking of how much I've just felt as though I'm really struggling... and have for some time now. Struggling to find God. Struggling to hear. Struggling to find peace. Struggling to have faith.

And that's when it occured to me. Like a small still voice telling me "You keep fighting so hard to 'find your faith', when you've never really lost it. Quit beating yourself up. If you still believe, you've got faith enough. Faith of a mustard seed... can you say you have at least that? You wouldn't be struggling if you didn't have any faith at all. Just the mere desire is faith in and of itself."

Such a comfort as I tend to struggle in vain! So many times, I focus so much on the feelings - or rather lack thereof - that I get wrapped up in that and feel as though I haven't any faith at all. When, if I would just turn my eyes toward Him, I would find those feelings of undeniable faith once again.

I'm reminded of something I read by Sheila Walsh some time back: "Use the faith you have. Don't search for great faith, but it you love Me, use what is in you."

You don't have to know it all. You don't even have to 'feel it'. All He asks is that you show up before Him with a willing heart and know that you love Him. And that is basically, all there is to know.

Look at this face

I know the years are showin'

Look at this life

I still don't know where it's goin'

I don't know much

But I know I love you

And that may be

All I need to know

Look at these eyes

They never seen what mattered

Look at these dreams

So beaten and so battered

I don't know much

But I know I love you

And that may be

All I need to know

So many questions

Still left unanswered

So much

I've never broken through

And when I feel you near me

Sometimes I see so clearly

The only truth I've ever known

Is me and you

Look at this man

So blessed with inspiration

Look at this soul

Still searching for salvation

I don't know much

But I know I love you

And that may be

All I need to know

I don't know much

But I know I love you

That may be

All I need to know

I don't know much

But I know I love you

That may be

All there is to know

2009-08-09T15:51:00.002-04:00

Love Letter from a Friend

I’ve mentioned I’m a Pack Rat. And today, as I was listening to the Podcast of last week’s sermon for some sermon notes to share (I couldn’t use today’s because they had run out of outlines… serves me right for being late), I looked down at my feet, and under my desk here is a stack of odds and ends things… Old calendars (’cause you never know when you might need those), some magazines, a couple directories… and then I noticed a folder that looked straight out of the ’80s. I thought “What in the world is in that thing?” I began to leaf through it and came across an old typed (you know, on the old actual typewriters) copy of something I hadn’t seen in a long time. I don’t even remember where it came from. But, it was certainly a message I needed to be reminded of and one I need to keep on hand. A “Love Letter” from the truest, noblest most endearing Friend one could ever hope to have.
So, please, read it. Share in it with me. And feel free to claim Him as your own Friend, too. All are welcome in His circle.

Dear Friend,

How have you been? We haven’t spoken in some time, so I wanted to send a quick note to tell you just how much you’ve been on my heart and my mind.

I saw you yesterday as you were talking with your friends. I waited all day, hoping you would want to talk to me, too.

As evening drew near, I gave you a sunset to close your day and a cool breeze to rest you – and I waited. You never came. Yes, it hurts me, but I still love you.

I saw you fall asleep last night and longed to touch your heart, so I spilled moonlight upon your pillow and face. Again I waited, wanting to rush to you so we could talk. I have so much I want to share with you!

You awakened late and rushed off to work. My tears were in the rain.

Today, you looked so sad – so all alone. It makes my heart ache because I want to help and I so understand. My friends, too let me down and hurt me many times. But, I still love them. And I love you.

Oh, if only you would listen to me. I love you more than you know. I try to tell you in the blue sky. In the quiet green grass. I whisper it in the leaves on the trees and breathe it in the colors of the flowers. I shout it to you in the mountain streams and give the birds love songs to sing over you. I clothe you with warm sunshine and infuse the air with nature’s scents. My love for you is deeper than the deepest ocean. Bigger than the biggest want or need in your heart. Oh, if only you knew how much I want to walk this road with you!

I know how hard it is in this life. I’ve walked the road, too. I know the hurt. I know the struggles. I know betrayal and I know loss. And I want to help you.

I want you to know my Father, too. The very One Who helped me along the journey. And He wants to help you, too.

So, please. Don’t hesitate to call on me. Turn to me. I’m here. Just talk with me! Anytime. I’ll be waiting. I promise.

Unconditionally Yours,

Jesus

2009-08-03T13:14:00.002-04:00

This is my Story... This is my Song (the beginning)

Today, I’ve been thinking about my testimony. My journey of faith. How I’ve gotten to where I am today. Wow… How does one start in telling the many countless ways God‘s moved in his/her life as a Christian? Where does one even begin?
~
One of my greatest questions as a Christian is how you can blame or judge another for not believing when they’ve not been given some of the same opportunities and/or inclinations as yourself? I feel like God has always pursued me, long before I ever knew to pursue Him.
~
I was blessed to be brought up in a Christian home, attending church regularly, being involved in Sunday School and VBS… the whole nine yards. We grew up Lutheran, so we were “sprinkled” at infancy and by about 7th or 8th grade continued on in taking confirmation classes, followed by the actual confirmation. And although I took it all to heart as much as I could and took that step with all sincerity, I never really grasped the concept of an actual personal relationship with my Savior. Knowing Him as a Friend, above all others. He was a loving God, Who was ‘out there’ looking down from ‘above’.
~
This is not at all to criticize the Lutheran church. It holds a very special place in my heart. It played a very important part in my journey and was the basis for my faith. It was my starting point. And I think that each denomination speaks differently and ministers differently to each of our needs. And it was the summer after confirmation that I attended a Lutheran youth camp for a week, with other teens from all over, that offered my first real taste of His presence.
~
Aside from the memories of all us girls sharing one bathroom and getting up at the crack of dawn for breakfast (and my slight crush on Joe Whitney), I remember one particular evening by the campfire. Joe must not have been there, because I was actually focusing on the moment and singing all those ‘campfire songs’ (you know the ones) with the purest of hearts. And I just remember, in that moment, feeling different? Like I had let something go? And yet felt more connected than ever before? It wasn’t earth-shattering. It wasn’t any great transformation. I’m certain nobody else even knew. Yet, I knew. And it was sweet and peaceful. Calming and reassuring. And from that sweet brief moment, it was back to bed, back on the van, back home, and back to ‘reality’… Life as usual…. (to be continued).

2009-08-02T15:34:00.004-04:00

An Untroubled Heart

I just received the sweetest gift in the mail last week. Kathy, over at Blessed Builder, had a bloggy book give-away and I actually WON! Yay! It's a book that released this Spring called "An Untroubled Heart: finding faith that is stronger than all my fears" by Micca Campbell.

"Micca Campbell knows all too well the unpredictable nature of life. As the 21-year-old mother of an infant son, her world was shattered when she lost her husband to a tragic accident. Reeling from her loss, Micca feared for her future, and struggled to overcome her aching loneliness. Yet in her darkest moment, she discovered God's remedy for our deepest fears. Micca presents a woman's guide for living a carefree, worry-free life. She explores the anxieties of every woman's heart from insecurities, to finances, to marital challenges, to raising healthy children.
With her distinctive southern flair and casual humor, Micca shares remarkable insights for finding freedom from fear. You'll be encouraged to lay down your worries, trust in your Heavenly Father, and embrace a life marked by peace and joy. Bible Study Questions at the end of each chapter."

Sounds great... I can't wait to delve into it. I get the feeling He knew that I was to read this book, long before Kathy even had the contest. Thanks again, Kathy! I look forward to reading it! And smelling whatever good scent that came with it in the box!! :)

2009-07-29T23:36:00.004-04:00

Do you have anyone who just makes your day to see them?

Well, today, I had the great pleasure of seeing 4 of my favorite Blue Willow patrons.
It always does my heart good to see them. It’s two couples, probably in their 70’s – one couple from the Atlanta area, the other couple from Lavonia.

Years back, I’m guessing somewhere around 6 or 7 years ago (maybe longer) these sweet folks came in and we got to talking and when I heard that the latter couple was from Lavonia, I just mentioned that I had attended Piedmont, et cetera, et cetera… Well, 6 months or a year later, they came back in and that sweet, crazy man remembered every last thing that I had told him! From my name, to my major… I was blown away. Ever since then, they have all just become my buddies. And I just love the days I get to see their sweet faces. They only meet up at the Blue Willow every six months or a year… to celebrate birthdays. And the Lavonia couple hadn’t been in a year and a half now. So, I was long overdue for a visit from them.

Well, we did some catching up and I got to hear the latest cheesy jokes from the men. Got some hugs in from everyone and then my Lavonia friend brought me in a couple of the latest issues of Georgia Mountain Laurel and left them for me to look at.

Local attractions, calendars of events, a few recipes and some pretty good photographs taken in all different areas in NE Georgia. And there were several sweet write-ups. One in particular, ministered to me just as dearly as seeing my comrades, so thought I'd share it here:

There is a true story told about a man who was selling quail in the marketplace in northern India. The man, a local farmer, had tied a string around the leg of each bird and the other end of the string was tied to a ring attached to a stake in the center. The birds walked around the stake in a circle, around and around.

A man who had a passion for animals came by and purchased all of the birds. Once the fee was paid, he asked the farmer to snip the strings and let the quail go free. The farmer obliged the man, since he had made the money that he had hoped to make. Although the strings were cut the birds continued to walk in a circle. The man who offered them freedom shooed them, and tried to get them to fly away. When they did, they would land a short distance away, form a circle and walk behind one another. Although a price had been paid for their freedom, and the strings had been cut, they continued in their learned behavior. Are we much like that?

If this story were opened up and applied to your life, would you be a helpless victim of the string and the stake, or would you see the freedom offered you and fly away, thereby accepting the grace of your savior? We live like we have no choice but to stay right where we are, no matter how confining and uncomfortable. If you know Jesus and you have given your heart and life to Him, you are as free as the quail in the marketplace. So quit living like you lived before you encountered His grace.

God wants you to fly as badly as the man who bought the birds. Let His love fill you and His mercy set you free. You are His child and He wants greatness for you. His son paid the price for you to have these things. We need to realize that we are true heirs of God’s throne. The Spirit of God lives within you and is a wonderfully freeing gift given at the moment of conversion and, like a gorgeous ribbon tied around a lovely gift, His Holy Spirit seals the believer until the day that Christ comes again. Wrapped in the Spirit of a gracious God is the most comforting place to be.

How are you living? Do you live like a free man or are you a slave to something? Becoming a Christian doesn’t mean that old habits are erased, although we do become new creatures in Christ. The string is cut the freedom is given but we have forgotten how to fly. Maybe there is something that is holding you. Is it an old hurt that is binding you? There is joy waiting for you when you walk away from that hurt and begin to live for Christ. Is there someone you need to forgive? Someone who needs to forgive you? Is there some un-confessed sin that you think you are hiding? Offer or seek forgiveness, repent and accept God’s forgiveness. Forgive yourself. Whatever your “string” is get rid of it.

God wants to bless you and me. He has unlimited and unbelievable joy and peace that is yours. It has your name on it. God will help you if you ask, He can change your life but you must look up and ask Him. Christ loves you more than anyone you have ever known, and wants to give you the gift of freedom. He has already paid the price for that freedom; you need only accept it, cut your strings and soar in His Grace.

~ by Tracy McCoy

2009-07-27T17:46:00.006-04:00

*New Blog Under Construction*

(Warning: it may take longer

to get up and running effectively

than the BIG DIG!)

But, please come check it out and tell me

what you think while I work out the kinks!

www.bittersweetjess.wordpress.com

A Stroll Down Ministry Lane...

2009-07-27T16:25:00.008-04:00

Hello.
I'm Jessica.
I am a Pack Rat.
I am well aware of this fact, but like all Pack Rats... I don't care.
I have my reasons.

That said, I'd like to enlighten you with some of my findings or rather 're-surfacings'...

First, however, I must give credit where credit is due. My fellow S.L.O.B., Aaron posted his sermon notes on his blog last Sunday... which got me thinking: How cool would it be for all different bloggers to share what they learn every Sunday? I mean, even within one church body, you could have all different feedback, depending on what 'struck home' to each individual person.

Well, that's all it took to get my inner Pack Rat going and rummaging through all my sermon notes from the last 4 years at ECC. I promise you, I have not thrown one solitary outline away. So, with the exception of the roughly 5 total Sundays I've probably missed in the 4 years I've been there and the brief amount of time they tried doing away with the outlines (grrr...) I should have every last one of them that has been printed... somewhere around here. Hey, I said I was a Pack Rat, not an organizational fanatic.

So, why don't I just share a few gleanings from the wonderful stash I've accumulated. Just to kick things off. And PLEASE, I encourage you to share yours, too! And let us know if you do!

June 5, 2005 ~ "Breaking Free From Fear"

The Damage Fear Does:
~ Paralyzes Potential
~ Ruins Relationships
~ Hinders Happiness
~ Sabotages God's plan for your life

When fear knocks, let faith answer.

Fear activates satan's power.
Faith activates God's power.

June 12, 2005 ~ "Stop Running Scared"

Three Antidotes to Fear:

~ Truth (John 8:32 / 2 Corinth. 4:2)
~ Love (1 John 4:18)
~ Faith (Eph. 6:16)

*Your focus looms large! Make God your focus. Satan will become fainter.
Need God's light to shine on truths. Cast out any shadows of doubt.

Fear is rooted in self-centeredness.

F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal

Now, considering there are 6 more outlines for that series, I'd say that's a good enough start and maybe I'll just share the rest throughout the week. (And maybe even get the notes from the last couple years at least rounded up and organized!)

Thanks for the idea, Aaron!

And thanks to Eastridge for all the great lessons over the years! And outlines!! :-)

2009-06-14T21:35:00.013-04:00

Above ALL, take up the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. (Eph. 6:16)

So, as I confessed in my last post, I have been VERY distant from God. Not just for a few days. Not just for a few weeks. We're talking months here. Months of wandering, squandering and much doubting. Empty messages and daily life devoid of much meaning.

Is it because there were no good lessons out there? And suddenly no meaning to life?

No.

I didn't find any truth or meaning because, quite simply... I was no longer looking for it.

Call it emotionally 'spent'. Call it pure laziness. Doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm finding my way back now (to open arms!) and the lessons learned while off the path.

It's not that I didn't desire to be back on the path, walking as swiftly as I once had. I knew what I was missing and wanted it back deeply. But, I just always find it so easy to fall into the mindset of taking things upon myself... when all He asks of us is to 'trust and obey'. This week, I just made a commitment to make a little more effort. Listen to the radio shows I once had listened to daily (David Jeremiah... and the likes). Pick up a book once in a while, for goodness' sake! Watch some quality television and movies... In other words, soak in as much of the Word as I could and redirect my focus. Or at least, much more than I had been lately...

Next thing I know, He's moving in my life. And moving ME once again.

All that to say... I can honestly attest to how easily faith can be wounded, compromised or even altogether lost, when you don't keep your guard up. And how hard it can be to find again.

In listening to David Jeremiah this week, he was reminding us of the importance of the 'full body of armor' in which to protect ourselves on our faith walk. This week, the focus was on the 'shield of faith'. One translation reads "Above ALL else..." Another reads "In EVERY battle, you will need faith as your shield..." Obviously, our faith is rather important in this battle of daily living.

To gain a deeper understanding of the shield Paul would be speaking of... I pulled up 'shield' in Wikipedia. Found a very helpful page that goes into great detail about the Roman Shield and what it was all about.

The 'scutum', as they referred to it, was "generally a large body shield. About 2.5 ft wide by 4 ft tall. It was made of plywood and covered in leather." Some contained a centrally located shield 'boss', which looks like a Hershey's kiss, but a whole lot scarier. "During the charge, the legionary would hold his shield in front of himself so that the force of the impact would, hopefully, knock his opponent to the ground. In this way, the scutum could serve as an offensive weapon by battering the enemy with the central boss and by hacking at him with the metal-bound edge."

(Wow. This ain't exactly your run scared and hide behind variety of shield, now is it?)

"Once he had reached, and overbalanced, his enemy, the legionary would often rest his scutum on the ground and fight from behind it while crouched. This would lower his center of gravity, making it harder for him to be pushed back or knocked off-balance, and would also allow for more of his body to be protected by the shield."

A place of safety and stability... now, who doesn't want that? However, "it should be stressed that this technique would result in a rather static position, and Roman tactics tended to rely on moving forward."

We can't just stay in one place... we must press on... in faith... "It is certain that, when called for, he would have held his shield in front of himself and continued to press forward."

(Now, all of this was really cool to learn... but this was my favorite part....)

"In siege warfare, the scutum could be employed in a unique formation known as the testudo, or tortoise. In the testudo, the soldiers on the front and sides of the formation would hold their shields outward, while the remainder would overlap their shields above the heads of the formation. The result was a box enclosed on the front, sides, and top, leaving very few vulnerable openings. The testudo allowed the Romans to approach and undermine walls without much fear of arrows or rocks from above. It could be disrupted by weapons such as burning fat, but the testudo still served well as a quickly and easily deployed siege weapon."

There is DEFINITELY strength in numbers!! (Especially when you're not concerned with 'burning fat'!!) I read this part of the description and it just brought a tear to my eye! Thinking of all my fellow Christian soldiers and how even when (or perhaps I should say: especially when) my faith is weak and my shield is compromised, I am blessed to be part of their 'testudo'!

My mom asked me a week ago what reason I would give if someone were to ask why they should attend church or get involved in a church, when 'they can believe just as well by themselves'. This is just one (of many) examples I can think of. When you're a part of a strong church body... of believers who are in this good fight of faith with you...

Well, I just can't imagine anything better!

2009-06-12T22:00:00.006-04:00

But Alas...

the Return of the Prodigal Blogger!

So... if you've followed my blog AT ALL, you may have noticed a rather lengthy 'hiatus' from my blogging. I apologize and I assure you that although I have not been writing, I have continued reading all my favorite blogs from all my cherished bloggers. (You guys, are AWESOME, by the way!)

I, however, have just found myself lacking in the inspiration department. I've always enjoyed sharing any little tid-bits that had been impressed upon me along the way, but to be perfectly honest, I hadn't had any to share in quite-some-time. And I only have myself to blame.

Now, I'm still not sure if all just boils down to laziness or neglect or if it's just been my 'time to be in the desert'... not gonna dwell on that... But, I have been lovingly reminded in the last several days that when I "draw near to (Him), He will (most assuredly) draw near to (me)". And I am SO grateful for such a loving, PATIENT Father!

... Hopefully, MUCH more to come...!